U.S. to Join European Union

Washington, D.C.--Now that President Obama has signed into law a new $2 trillion middle-class entitlement that will vastly increase the national debt at a time the U.S. cannot afford to maintain its existing entitlement programs, the administration is expected to support a European-style "value-added tax," which adds a tax to every improvement made to a product during the course of its production and distribution process.

However, the administration sources say the president is expected to support an exemption from the tax for purchases of berets and cravats, and to request that baguettes become part of unemployment benefits.

Associated articles: Charles Krauthammer; Reuters; George Will; Politico; Der Spiegel