Contemporary Urban Graffiti

Contemporary Urban Graffiti

Unemployment Up Further as Potential Job Seekers Hide from "Evil, Greedy" Corporations

Economics experts say the nation's abysmal unemployment rate results in part from "an alarming increase in reports of evil, greedy corporations."

As federal officials in the Obama Administration cite more and more instances of private industry skullduggery, experts say people have become terrified to leave their homes lest they be scooped up by one of the many nightmarish corporations President Obama and Democrats in Congress have warned them about.

"I heard Obama say greedy businesses routinely cut corners and impose risks on workers," said one terrified former job applicant curled up in a dark corner of their bedroom. "If it weren't for his repeated public warnings, I might be working inside the belly of one of those corporate beasts today."

Associated articles: Wall Street Journal; Wall Street Journal 1

Unemployment Up Further as Potential Job Seekers Hide from "Evil, Greedy" Corporations

Economics experts say the nation's abysmal unemployment rate results in part from "an alarming increase in reports of evil, greedy corporations."

As federal officials in the Obama Administration cite more and more instances of private industry skullduggery, experts say people have become terrified to leave their homes lest they be scooped up by one of the many nightmarish corporations President Obama and Democrats in Congress have warned them about.

"I heard Obama say greedy businesses routinely cut corners and impose risks on workers," said one terrified former job applicant curled up in a dark corner of their bedroom. "If it weren't for his repeated public warnings, I might be working inside the belly of one of those corporate beasts today."

Associated articles: Wall Street Journal; Wall Street Journal 1

Radical Islamic Cleric Revises Fatwa to Apply to "Less Freedom-Loving U.S."

Yemen--A prominent radical Islamic cleric who had previously issued a fatwa declaring war against the "freedom-loving bastion of liberty that is the U.S. government" revised his fatwa yesterday. It now applies to the "kind-of-more-socialistic enclave of intrusive state-run programs that is the U.S. government."

The cleric said the revised fatwa was necessary because the character of the U.S. has changed so much in the last couple of years that his "terrorist followers were becoming confused as to what is the target of their religiously-motivated hatred."

Radical Islamic officials said the U.S. "still has a free-enough feel to it" to justify "really disliking the U.S." but the clarifications to the fatwa were necessary because "some terrorists were thinking the fatwa maybe applied to China, where tax rates are going down and free enterprise is increasingly encouraged."

Radical Islamic Cleric Revises Fatwa to Apply to "Less Freedom-Loving U.S."

Yemen--A prominent radical Islamic cleric who had previously issued a fatwa declaring war against the "freedom-loving bastion of liberty that is the U.S. government" revised his fatwa yesterday. It now applies to the "kind-of-more-socialistic enclave of intrusive state-run programs that is the U.S. government."

The cleric said the revised fatwa was necessary because the character of the U.S. has changed so much in the last couple of years that his "terrorist followers were becoming confused as to what is the target of their religiously-motivated hatred."

Radical Islamic officials said the U.S. "still has a free-enough feel to it" to justify "really disliking the U.S." but the clarifications to the fatwa were necessary because "some terrorists were thinking the fatwa maybe applied to China, where tax rates are going down and free enterprise is increasingly encouraged."

Younger Voters and the Political Circus

Younger Voters and the Political Circus

Couple with Private Sector Experience Breaches White House Security

Washington, D.C.--Over 90 percent of President Obama's White House cabinet consists of people whose only prior experience was in the government sector, making his administration perhaps the least familiar with private enterprise in U.S. history.

Consequently, when a White House State Dinner was crashed for the first time ever by two people who breezed through security and schmoozed amongst President Obama and Vice President Biden, that remarkable security breach was overshadowed by the more shocking revelation that the uninvited guests were aspiring reality television show stars who had private sector experience.

"This administration prides itself on its total isulation from free enterprise," said one official. "That people with business experience managed to even get close to the President is just not supposed to happen."

Associated articles: American Enterprise Institute; New York Times

Couple with Private Sector Experience Breaches White House Security

Washington, D.C.--Over 90 percent of President Obama's White House cabinet consists of people whose only prior experience was in the government sector, making his administration perhaps the least familiar with private enterprise in U.S. history.

Consequently, when a White House State Dinner was crashed for the first time ever by two people who breezed through security and schmoozed amongst President Obama and Vice President Biden, that remarkable security breach was overshadowed by the more shocking revelation that the uninvited guests were aspiring reality television show stars who had private sector experience.

"This administration prides itself on its total isulation from free enterprise," said one official. "That people with business experience managed to even get close to the President is just not supposed to happen."

Associated articles: American Enterprise Institute; New York Times