Scientists at Climatic Research Unit Say “Unequivocal Evidence” Confirms Earth is Threatened by Giant Homework-Eating Dogs

East Anglia, United Kingdom--Scientists at East Anglia's Climatic Research Unit who destroyed much of the raw temperature data they claimed proved their global warming predictions have now said that "unequivocal evidence" indicates the earth is threatened by giant homework-eating dogs.

Responding to accusations that temperature data was lost in order to prevent scientists around the world from verifying the accuracy of their global warming claims, Climatic Research Unit officials said they had "clear proof" that "huge, menacing dogs" ate the data and threatened to consume academic assignments around the world for decades to come.

When asked to produce the data on which their new theory was based, the global warming scientists said "everyone knows dogs eat homework."

Associated articles: London Times; Toronto Sun; Charles Murray