White House Says "Since Congress Passed the Giant Spending Bill, Not One Dinosaur Has Returned to Ravage the Earth"

Washington, D.C.--While the White House had promised that if Congress passed its $787 billion spending bill, unemployment would not rise above 8%, unemployment has risen to ten percent even after Congress passed the massive spending bill, a rise much higher than the White House predicted would happen if Congress had done nothing at all. Still, President Obama assured the nation yesterday that, were it not for the giant spending legislation, "We could have seen dinosaurs roaming the earth once again."

Administration officials said that "While we could have experienced a resurgence of the dreaded Velociraptor and other meat-eating dinosaur populations, we have yet to see the reappearance of even a single plant-eating Europasaurus."

Associated articles: Wall Street Journal; Hot Air