Justice Department Releases Woodcut Depicting CIA Investigation Procedures

Washington, D.C.--While making clear that "this is not a witch hunt," Attorney General Eric Holder announced dunking would be used as part of the trial by ordeal he authorized into the CIA's use of enhanced interrogation techniques on terrorists who then provided life-saving information used to stop future attacks.

The Justice Department released to the press a woodcut depicting the process.

Holder ordered the investigation even after professional, non-partisan prosecutors had already conducted an inquiry into the alleged misconduct and determined prosecution was not warranted due to insufficient evidence.

"9/11 terrorist mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed had to be waterboarded many times before he finally cracked and divulged crucial information that was used to cripple al-Qaeda," said Holder. "However, we expect to have to dunk CIA employees just a few times to obtain their confessions."

The decision was made to allow dunking because, as one Justice Department official put it, "The alternative would have required CIA employees to hire expensive lawyers and endure years of legal wrangling, and that would have amounted to an even crueler water torture."

Associated articles: http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/016/881vlnwr.asp; http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iOTk5mUIVTPTRGU5hoR5JJrr38BAD9AQMAJO0; Wall Street Journal; Wall Street Journal 1