Terrorists Evade Security Officials By Dressing as Giant Dots

National security officials continue to be stymied by terrorists who are managing to evade security screenings by dressing as giant dots.

"One giant dot will go by, and then another giant dot will go by," said one homeland security official. "They dress as entirely separate dots, which makes it really hard to connect them."

"Sometimes we get a break," said another Administration official, "like when there's a small child going through the security line. Kids will often pull out magic markers or crayons and start drawing a line between the dots."

The American Civil Liberties Union and other "civil rights" groups applauded the Administration's anti-terrorism strategy, saying "The Obama Administration is doing the right thing by protecting dots from unfair discrimination."

Associated articles: New York Times; Weekly Standard; Senate Report; Weekly Standard; CNN