Guantanamo Bay, Cuba--As President Obama's approval ratings have sunk in the polls, the nation's schoolmarm-in-chief has ordered that millions of detention notes be sent to inattentive Americans "who just aren't getting what I'm saying."
A White House spokesman confirmed that existing detention centers were being retrofitted with brightly colored school desks for detention sessions that should last "an hour or so" as necessary.
President Obama, clearly frustrated by the majority of Americans' failure to appreciate his intellectual brilliance, "just wants Americans to do some thinking about how they can help President Obama help them."
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