Government Report: Every American Adds $30,000 a Year to Deficit

Washington, D.C.--The federal government issued a blockbuster report today that concludes the average American adds $30,000 to the deficit.

The report was released at a press conference held by the chairman of the House tax committee, who said "The shocking data in this report show that the average American makes around $30,000 a year that doesn't go to the federal government in taxes. That means each American -- by keeping their own money -- costs the government $30,000 a year and adds the same amount to the federal deficit."

Other officials involved in the drafting of the report said it should serve as a "wake-up call" to the nation and spur the federal government to raise taxes even more "to close the loophole that currently lets people deny other Americans the benefits of yet more government programs."