Members of Congress to Spend Recess in Constituent-Proof Bunker

Washington, D.C.--Starting over a year ago, Members of Congress have been planning to implement what they call the "constituency contingency" in the form of a giant underground bunker designed to seal them off from public criticism during the August congressional recess.

"Widespread unrest regarding federal spending, the national debt, and a host of other issues have sucked up so much of the oxygen in today's public debate," said one Democrat, "that we had to create our own supply in a secure bunker."

The bunker will lie under twelve feet of concrete, more than enough to muffle the sounds of marches.