Cambridge, Massachusetts--For the first time in its long history, Harvard University deigned to grant a normal guy an honorary degree in pretentious douchebaggery.Plant worker Ed Long appeared to accept the honor reluctantly, saying "I really don't want to be here."
Ed was introdcued by the President of Harvard College, who said "Ed Long is a hard-working common sense-type of man who made it on his own and does his best to provide for his family amidst a grueling maze of taxes and regulations, much of which was designed by our illustrious institution's fine graduates. Even so, Harvard bestows upon this vulgar specimen an honorary degree in pretentious douchebaggery as a testament to this hallowed university's dedication to patronizing the non-elite."
Associated article: Washington Post
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